Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Meditations

What are the journalistic ethics of plastering the face of a seven-year-old girl on the front page of the paper? The girl in question is Leena Yang, the daughter of Westpac 'fugitive' Kara Hurring. Leena hasn't done anything, apart from being taken on 'holiday'. To me it seems slightly questionable - but then I have no formal journalistic qualifications.

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When the great powers of Europe marched to war in 1914, they all thought that victory would be achieved in a matter of weeks. Likewise, the Herald's estimates of the length of the war on P, originally scheduled to end on Saturday, have proved overly optimistic. Anyway, enough about that:
Mr Key is father to Stephie, 16, and Max, 14. He held the weekly Cabinet meeting early yesterday so he could return to Auckland to celebrate Max's birthday.
Happy birthday, Max.

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Snobby Herald 'Clarification' of the day:
Barrister Marie Dyhrberg did not use the slang term "wicked", as reported on Friday. She was explaining its meaning to Teoh Mei Fang, a Singaporean immigrant, who was doing contract work in Ms Dyhrberg's office.
Imagine the horror when Ms Dyhrberg discovered she had been falsely accused of using slang.

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The art of creating a headline for the In Brief column is an art form, much like the ancient Japanese art of bonsai. How to pare down a story into a mere three words? It calls for concise and succinct writing beyond the skill of mere mortals. As such, enjoy the inaugural 'In Brief Headline of the Day'. Ensure you savour the sheer poetry as it drips from the words like honeyed dew:
"Hit pedestrian dies"
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Sometimes a moment comes along in politics that epitomises the surrealist spirit. That moment in today's paper is a photo of Act Party Mt Albert candidate John Boscawen talking into a microphone at a public meeting with a chocolate lamington mushed into his bald head:

"The confectionary sat on Mr Boscawen's head while he continued to address the crowd, saying he didn't want to waste his allotted time to speak."
Brilliant.

17 comments:

  1. James,
    Since you can't spell succinct, you have no right to criticise the New Zealand Herald.*

    But seriously, I must say that as a Mt. Albert elector, I certainly do not want as my representative a man so staggeringly inept that he cannot even remove a Lamington from his own head.


    *Please note that this is a parody of an ananymous comment to Editing the Herald and should not be taken as representative of the actual opinions of the author.

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  2. Wait - how do you spell 'anonymous'?

    Poetic justice strikes again!

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  3. OOOHHHHH Poetic justice even...how apt!

    Sucks to be 3410!

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  4. Sucks more to be pedestrian, unles 3410 also died from the shame of it all

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  5. Pedantic justice more like...

    A waste of a lamington too - just add a few candles and I'd bet Max would have been thrilled.

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  6. How anyone can look at that poor squashed Lamington and not feel enraged is beyond me.

    There was a time when you didn't need to lock your doors in fear of some madman squashing a Lamington on your head. Klark and her PC socialist cronies have a lot to answer for.

    Won't someone think of the Lamingtons?

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  7. did anyone else notice Melissa Lee wiping it off? A microcosm of the National/ACT relationship if I ever did see one. She may aswell have licked it off.

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  8. Editing Nightline (or whatever it's called - the one with Samantha Hayes)

    Flicking through the channels late last night, my attention was taken by a story that promised to reveal the effects of a drug prescribed to young kids with ADHD in the US. Said drug caused horrible side-effects, including, in young males, the development of 'female sex organs'. Naturally, I was all ears to hear how a drug could cause teenage boys to sprout vaginas, and to learn what hilarious misadventures ensued. Sadly (and predictably) the 'female sex organs' in question turned out to be breasts. And no hilarious misadventures ensued, for those of you playing along at home. Breasts = female sex organs? Wtf Sammie?

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  9. Yeah, that's crap. unless they were lactating I'm not interested. Even then...

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  10. One of them had one lactating breast. It was quite disturbing

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  11. As in one breast, which was lactating. Not one lactating breast, one non-lactating breast. Hope the ADHD cure was worth it mum & dad!

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  12. Man Milk! Or boy milk at least... They should bottle it and sell it to ageing Hollywood stars as a 'Youth Serum'

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  13. I dont think that the target market for 'boy milk' would be hollywood stars, ageing or otherwise. I'm thinking catholic preists and scout troupe leaders would be a better fit.

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  14. This is one bizarre comment thread, even by EtH standards.

    James and 3410, the dictum for which you search is Muphry's Law.

    L

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  15. you sick puppies.

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  16. "This is one bizarre comment thread, even by EtH standards."

    Ever read the comments at Chase Me Ladies, I'm In the Cavalry?

    http://chasemeladies.blogspot.com

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  17. "Or boy milk at least... They should bottle it and sell it to ageing Hollywood stars as a 'Youth Serum'"

    Can I suggest Cream of Sum Yung gai as a brand name? Sorry, I'll get me coat.

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