Friday, May 22, 2009

Headlines of the day

Misleading headline of the day:
"Georgie Pie set for comeback - report"
Actual quotes from the article:
An iconic New Zealand fast-food chain may be ready to make a comeback.

[...]Now fast-food chain McDonald's, which holds the Georgie Pie trademark is looking at how the company might use it.

McDonald's was "intrigued at the level of passion for the Georgie Pie brand and (we've) put some concepts into research", spokeswoman Kate Porter told The Dominion Post.

Definitely set for a comeback, then.

Sports headline of the day:
"Cricket: Akhtar to miss Twenty20 due to genital warts"
Delightful. Do you have any more information?
Shoaib Akhtar will miss next month's World Twenty20 due to a genital infection, the Pakistan Cricket Board said Thursday.

"The medical board has reported that Shoaib Akhtar was suffering from genital viral warts and the wound needs further care and treatment for another 10 days," the PCB said in a statement.

The three-member medical board, comprising surgeon Prof. Javed Raza, dermatologist Dr. Ijaz Hussain and PCB sports physician Dr. Riaz Ahmed, said the injury should be reassessed after 10 days.

"Injury", huh? Some kind of training accident? I wish I could be a fly on the wall when the "three-member medical board" reassesses that one.

Online gossip headline of the day:
"Photos: Paul Homes [sic] headlines a swanky P charity dinner"
Possibly the first time "swanky" and "P" have appeared together in a sentence.


  1. Possibly the most embarrasing headline sports.

  2. "...put some concepts into research"? What in the holy name of twat does that mean?

  3. "concepts into research" means a McPie happy meal I expect.

  4. If they come up with McDollarBigMac I will convert to something.

  5. You mean to say you haven't tried Swanky P James? Man that stuff gets you WAAAY higher than regular P.

  6. Shoaib Akhtar doing some more "ball tampering" aye?

    And geez, raising funds for P now? I guess it means fewer crimes committed to buy the drug.

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  9. Here's a headline-of-the-day for ya':

    Woman sheds 45kg on energy drink diet.

    "A young mum has told how she lost 45kg in eight months by drinking nothing but 10 to 14 cans of Red Bull a day."

    Oh, good. Slight problem, though.

    "Brooke Robertson shrank from 105kg to 60kg during the drastic diet but said she ended up in hospital after a minor heart attack and has had ongoing health problems."


  10. Brooke Robertson is a friend of mine. She agreed to be interviewed because she was told that the HoS was researching a story on the dangers of energy drinks, and she wanted her story to be helpful.

    What happened? they turned the whole thing into a hatchet job on her, complete with selective use of quotes. I suppose the HoS thinks their bullshit headline made it all OK. As far as those dishonest pricks at the HoS are concerned it is OK to use an interview with someone and victimise because they get a story that dogwhistles a whole of lazy prejudices and get their readers feeling all superior and tut tutting their Sunday museli.

    What a bunch of bastards.