If it had, this story would have made the front page.
A pet cat escaped with only three broken teeth and a fractured jaw after falling six storeys from an apartment balcony on Auckland's viaduct.
Graeme and Alison Pike are surprised tabby Camo didn't fall on to someone's plate in one of the restaurants on the waterfront.
I think that should be "vet's eyes" (in the paper and online), but don't worry - the Weekend Herald is only, as the article below attests, "read by an average of 618,000 people" every week. It's not like it's a major newspaper.
But when the Pikes took Camo to the vet, she only needed three of her teeth extracted. Her fractured jaw was left to heal on its own.
"The vets eyes were definitely raised," Mrs Pike said.
I don't really know what to say. How did this 'storey' - hur hur - even get to the paper's attention? My preferred version of events is that the owners, amused at their cat's travails, contacted Sideswipe to get the story out there.
"This story isn't fit for Sideswipe," they were told. "No, this is going straight to page three."
[EDIT: Muphry's Law. Where's my sub?]