Sometimes, in fact, it works so well that a large media outlet will give you free ads.
As you can see, this 'article' is on page A2 of the print edition.
How exciting. Now please tell me how this change will actually affect my life, and thus is worthy of being treated like a piece of news.
It's Countdown but not as you know it, promises supermarket boss Peter Smith.
Progressive Enterprises, owner of the Woolworths, Foodtown and Countdown brands, has announced it is uniting all its supermarkets under one Countdown banner.
Perhaps you could fill your readers in on this week's Countdown specials? You know, seeing you're already working in 'corporate shill' mode. You've already got a massive logo for the company in the photo, so I'm not sure what more you can do - perhaps a little device that plays their jingle when you open the newspaper?
This was not the old, rundown Countdown format that some shoppers might associate with the brand, he said.
The new stores had a diverse range of fresh food, a bigger grocery range, wide aisles and a brighter environment.
Honestly, you're not even trying anymore.