Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Readers' Forum

The Herald "Readers' Forum", the renamed letters page - it's PC gone mad, I tell you! - would be far more accurately named if most of the people who contributed could actually read.

And now, without further ado, the 1st Annual Weekly Readers' Forum Awards:

Henry Ford Award for Efficiency: Jo Smith, Napier
"I was appalled at the lack of food and drink stalls at the [Whenuapai] air show. I queued 40 minutes for coffee, 70 minutes for a hotdog, 35 minutes for a juice and 20 minutes for a coke, all separately."
On the upside, Jo, I bet it was some hotdog. But thanks for letting everyone know, anyway. Please submit your story of hardship to That's Life and collect your $200.

Metaphor of the week: Glen Weir, Sandringham
"It's great to have the opportunity to consider our attitude to giving. Rather than ideologically quarantine the germ of generosity, we should let it infect us and change our hearts."

Mahmoud Ahmedinejad Award for Effectively Denying the Holocaust: James Newman, Mt Maunganui
"Why would anyone be worried about the police being given an extra tool to put away criminals by allowing the taking of DNA samples from any person breaking the law? If you have nothing to hide, there is no problem."

"Back to the Future" Award for Lateral Thinking: Mohammed Yakub, Mangere East
"In these hard times, perhaps the Government should bring back the old 1c, 2c and 5c coins."

Forrest Gump Award for Confusing Fantasy and Reality: Lucy Paterson, Mt Albert
"[Regarding the proposed National Cycleway] Message to John Key: 'If you build it, they will come' - Field of Dreams."


  1. She queued for nearly 3 hours.

  2. "Mahmoud Ahmedinejad Award for Effectively Denying the Holocaust:"

    Oh my Gods that's so brilliantly put.

  3. She couldn't get a juice and a coke at the same stall? That would have cut 35 minutes. And perhaps had she asked at the hot dog counter she might have been able to get a Coke. I've never seen a food stand that didn't have overpriced, lukewarm cans of effervescent monkey piss on display.