Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Innocent until proven guilty

Someone's going to get a surprise when they pick up their copy of the Herald today. The front page carries the 'story' of a man measuring up the area around an ATM in Dargaville. Evidently, the man was captured on security footage almost six weeks ago and no one has any idea who he is.


I'm not sure why this is on the cover of the Herald. Firstly - what is this, Crimewatch? Secondly - what is this, Northland Crimewatch? I'll admit that it seems like an odd thing to be doing at 8 o'clock at night, but the man is not actually committing any crime. I don't know, maybe he's staging a play set at a bank and wants the set to be realistic. Maybe he's thinking of becoming a builder and wants some practice. Granted, he didn't do himself any particular favours by wearing a black-and-white striped jumper, shaving his head and growing a goatee, but that hardly seems tantamount to consenting to be on the front page of the Herald.

Anyway - and I should point out here that I have no recollection of ever being in Dargaville - how difficult can it be to track down someone who looks like a henchman for the Joker? I fear that by letting the trail get so cold the Herald have allowed this criminal mastermind to go into hiding. If I were the Northland Police, I would start checking inside volcanoes and abandoned castles at once.


EDIT: The Dargaville News (via Stuff) reports that:

[... A] bank spokesperson told the Dargaville and Districts News newspaper today the man was doing legitimate work.

"The man concerned was completing work on behalf of the bank."

Seems like a big old-fashioned misjudgement all round then. Editing the Herald apologises for implying that the man was a stereotypical criminal. (Although even if this was legitimate, he could still be carrying out other criminal activities on the side! Sleep with one eye open.)

18 comments:

  1. Can you make your profile pic (more - yeah yeah yeah) visible? I want to know what you look like.

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  2. How can the reader be sure that YOU are not the Herald's mystery man?

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  3. I measure strange shit all the time. Who knows... he could be part of my graffiti knitting gang?


    Oooooer. Maybe he wants to be? If you find out who he is... pass his contact details on to me. K Thx.

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  4. Priceless. All he is missing from his 'Cartoon Bank Robber' disguise is a lone ranger mask and a brown hessian sack with a large dollar sign on it.

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  5. Priceless. He really couldn't be more of a cliché if he tried.

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  6. Duh, James. We KNOW he's a criminal. He's wearing a black and white stripey top. (But sadly must have forgotten his eye mask somewhere.)

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  7. Hmmmm, all he needs in 167-671 printed on his shirt.

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  8. You just made me snort *so* loud! Third time this week. If this trend continues, you'll need to break out the trough on Thursday.

    Philip: Just imagine a gigantic beard...

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  9. He looks like a fat hamburglar

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  10. Who looks like a fat hamburglar? Which one?

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  11. haha.
    Stuff reports that he was working for the bank at the time!
    Damn nanny-workers, messing with my stereotypes.

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  12. Beautiful. The Herald really did their homework on this one. Who'da thought you could find out if he was legitimate by inquiring at the very bank he was measuring?

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  13. Sounds like the bank itself didn't know what was going on, never mind the Herald.

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  14. The Herald should be ashamed of itself over this one. If the bank had been robbed the story may have been legitimate, but to put this on the front page with the implication (in the cartoon as well as the text), that the guy was up to something illegal is a real abuse of its role. Looking forward to their climb down tomorrow.

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  15. Love your work, James.

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  16. I laughed so hard when I saw this on the front page. Only in my hometown.

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