CAT NEWZ

The Metro 'Section' (aka 'Page') of the paper, focusing on events of particular pseudo-relevance to people in the Auckland metropolitan area, is the result of the Herald's understandable desire to broaden their base beyond the city itself, and into the entire region and, indeed, the whole country.

That said, I never read it. The red ink-bedecked Metro page conjures up images, for me at least, of the most banal and boring news in Auckland - let's face it, anything important that happens in Auckland will, or should, be in the main news. (Sorry, rest of New Zealand.) To me, the Metro page is planning permission disputes, reports on council meeting minutes, residential zoning debates, 'waves' of burglary and that fascinating column where people, and God knows who, write in to ask about roads. But I found out today that it's not only that.

It's also news about notable cats from the metropolitan region:

Interestingly, it's the same reporter who wrote about the crabs (below). This is a bit confusing; I know times are tough at the Herald, but I'd thought that the demand for animal news would have meant separate reporters for vertebrates and invertebrates.

There's not much point quoting from an article about a cat, but I'm going to do it anyway:

Mr T, whose name is short for Tango after the police team that rescued him, was found as a kitten, soaking wet in a storm, his head popping up from behind the moving barrier on the Auckland Harbour Bridge.

Three years on, he's a healthy 6.1kg and "rules the roost" at his Helensville home.

[...] "He indicates what he wants so if he wants you to feed him, the paw comes out and hits you. And if dinner isn't on time - at six at night - you get a whack and if you ignore him, he goes around, he'll start ripping the furniture. If you still ignore him, he goes under the TV set.

"If that doesn't work he'll climb on top and dangle a leg so you can't watch the TV.

Awww. It's almost enough to make you wish for a controversial zoning permit.