Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Always look on the bright side

Anyone up for some schadenfreude?

Well that doesn't sound too bad. Until you keep reading, and find out that lauding this 'improvement' is a little bit like saying that, say, the Black Eyed Peas are improving because each song is only a little more soul-destroying than the last.
APN said that although revenue fell 10 per cent at its publishing business in this country for the entire half, fourth quarter revenues had improved that trend to be down 6 per cent.
So by improving you mean worsening less quickly. Unfortunately, that's the only 'good' news.

Earnings before interest and tax (ebit) for the NZ Publishing division in the six months to December fell 11 per cent from a year earlier to A$36.4 million ($46.7 million). In local currency terms the decline was 9 per cent.

Revenues at NZ Publishing fell 13 per cent to A$164.3m, or 10 per cent for local currency.

At the NZ Radio division ebit fell 22 per cent to A$7.7m, with the local currency drop 20 per cent. Revenue at NZ Radio was down 15 per cent - 12 per cent in local currency - to A$43.4m.

[...] For the full 2009 year, APN reported net profit down 34 per cent from a year earlier to A$94.2m, while underlying revenue fell 14 per cent to A$1.03 billion.

But don't worry:
Hopkins said APN had been able to mitigate the full effects of the global financial crisis through a combination of effective cost management and targeted sales campaigns. Total costs fell A$78m.
For example, you could cut the number of journalists writing business articles:

"The directors have seen an improvement in trading over the fourth quarter and in the early weeks of the New Year that provides confidence that 2010 will be a better year," APN said.



  1. Who gives a fuck about these wankers? Do more stuff about dogs.

  2. Yes, rabbits! I notice Alanah May Eriksen was responsible for the slimming canine article, as well as the mistreated bunny one from today's hard-hitting edition. Interns. Sigh.