Tuesday, February 2, 2010

HEADXXX

Thanks to James W for pointing out the goldmine that was Monday's Herald. I hadn't read it, as I was rocking out.

Let's start with the front page article "Climate change: another gaffe":

First - yeah, it's bad science, and the people involved should feel rather ashamed of themselves. But it's still rather questionable that a relatively minor 'gaffe' is front-page news when it's one paper out of thousands written on climate change. It's a bit like claiming I'm lazy because I didn't blog one month out of twelve.

But more importantly, the last paragraph above discusses "a feature article published in a popular climbing magazine which was based on anecdotal evidence from mountaineers about the changes they were witnessing on the mountainsides around them."

Oh, you mean like this article?

When I was undertaking research as curator for the displays at the Department of Conservation's Aoraki/Mount Cook Visitor Centre, I came across a Timaru Herald clipping from the mid-1930s.

The chief guide at Mount Cook, Vic Williams, was reported as being concerned about the warming that was taking place. He had seen significant changes in the glaciers since he first went to Mount Cook, at the end of World War I.

Half a century ago, when I started climbing and writing about mountains, I soon came across photographic evidence of what had happened to the Mount Cook glaciers since the first photographs were taken in the 1860s.

Et cetera, et cetera. I trust the Herald will be doing a full recall and replacement of all eyes that have seen that piece.

But it gets better. If, for some reason, you're still reading Monday's article and reach the bottom of the page, you'll be invited to turn to Page 3, at which point you'll be greeted by this:

Yes, that made it into the printed newspaper; it sounds more like a URL than a headline.

Looking back at page A2, we're in for more fun - wholesome, family-oriented, church-approved fun, that is - with "Rain fails to dampen Parachute festivities". Here is a selection of quotes for your consideration:
  • Some of the 25,000 people attending the Parachute festival, more than 17,000 of them camping in tents alongside the Waikato River at Hamilton's Mystery Creek, packed up and headed home early last night.
  • "We're going to travel home overnight instead of staying another night," said Tom Goodger of Waipukurau, who brought his whole family to the festival.
  • Swiss visitors Pauline Reymond, 21, and Yvonne Liechti, 19, were desperately trying to light a gas cooker in a big open tent when the Herald visited. "All our clothes are wet, all our cooking stuff is wet," Ms Reymond said. "It's very funny. I don't know what we will do tonight." [Knowing the legendary Swiss sense of humour, 'funny' was probably a mistranslation of 'arse'.]
  • [...] Cameron Pratt, 19, had holes in the bottom of his tent and slept last night in his car. It was Mr Pratt's fifth year at Parachute, but he wondered whether he should have come. "For the amount of money we paid for the tickets, we could have just driven on a massive road trip to a beach somewhere," he said.
Rain definitely failed to dampen the Parachute festivities then.

Anyway, maybe after all that you just want to wind down with some hard-hitting political analysis:

Next week's exposé: "PM reveals 'Key' to catching the big fish".

12 comments:

  1. ... followed by an article in which Key catches no fish - like Key hitting the ball straight into the rough qualifies him as a "master" of the game.

    Maybe the sub-ed who wrote HeadXXX was having trouble finding the opposite of the article and just gave up :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lucky those folks didn't head to Glastonbury..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh you're back. I thought you might have realised your rants had no purpose.

    Well, have fun shouting at a wall and patting yourself on the back for how clever it all is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I missed you too, Anonymous. We all did.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, welcome back!

    I definitely thought of you when I saw that "John Key plays golf" number. I also thought of how much the Herald just looooves to suck John Key's cock and tried to remember a time when they had this much blind admiration for Helen Clark. I couldn't think of any, does anyone here have any recollection of that happening?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sure. The Herald loves to suck Key's cock. It's like that whole SAS thing was just one big love in.

    ReplyDelete
  7. To be fair, it'd be pretty difficult to suck Helen Clark's cock.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yea, She's a feisty one for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Called in for an infrequent visit at the Herald website today and was absolutely convinced on first glance that the your views topic "Is NZ too soft on animal cruelty?" was calling for a robust debate on whether we should be more cruel to animals...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I would think that it is obvious that I didn't mean the whole cock-sucking thing literally. I'm just wondering if it is just me, or is The Herald a whole lot kinder to Kohn Key than they were the Helen Clark? Liberal media bias indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I completely agree. Then again, when a paper has the editorial POV that 'tasers stop crime', it's hard to expect anything else.

    I just wonder where the writers sit on the spectrum of ignorance to demagogue.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, and also, welcome back! Yay!

    ReplyDelete