Monday, February 22, 2010

The Biggest Loser: Dog Edition

At the top of today's Page A3:

Editor 1: "We can only run one dog story today. Do we go with the dog mauling the woman and child, or the dog that... lost weight?"

Editor 2: "Or no dog stories at..."

Editor 1: "You're fired."


"He loves fruits - especially blueberries," Mr Chin said. "But he also loves the odd cheeseburger ... but only for a treat."
He's a dog, and he'll eat his own faeces if you don't stop him.

11 comments:

  1. Perhaps if Cookie's owners had put it on a diet of child and woman, it wouldn't have been such a fat bastard in the first place. You never see a fat dog mauling a kiddie. Ever. I hope they have all learned a valuable lesson.

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  2. I think it is a beat up, using classical photographical techniques to magnify the apparent weight loss of Cookie.

    The 'before' photo is zoomed in, and taken at about Cookie's eyeline, with his chin down and sitting back on his haunches. Flattering, I think not.

    The 'after' shot is zoomed out, and cookie is adopting a sleek, low pose, looking up at the camera. You should recognise this camera arrangement from every single photo self taken by a fat chick on myspace trying to look like a thin chick with big jugs. In fact, if cookie had been standing up, you would have been able to see the vertically striped jumper he was no doubt wearing.

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  3. For that comment JP does in fact Rock... bravo

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  4. Why the fuck are they feeding him cheeseburgers and fruit? He's a dog. Dogs eat dog food. Why are people such cunts?

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  5. I'd look thinner too if I hid my ass inside the doorway for the 'after' shot.

    And feeding your dog bluberries? Quite apart from the fact dogs are carnivores those little delicacies are about $50 a kilo!

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  6. Feed that dog a big block of chocolate. BWAHAHAHAHA!

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  7. Dogs, like cats, are not strict carnivores. They will eat vegetation in the wild, which is probably where the modern fad of adding a tonne of vegetables into dog food to lower the production cost comes from.

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  8. Is potato cheaper than horse bollocks then? Surely only marginally.

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  9. Congratulations: I am your 100th follower.

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  10. I see today The Herald has managed to squeeze two shot dogs into just one story. You have to admire their sense of economy, especially in these troubled times.

    More bloody lifestylers for you, Paul.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10627899

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  11. "You should recognise this camera arrangement from every single photo self taken by a fat chick on myspace trying to look like a thin chick with big jugs."

    "Why the fuck are they feeding him cheeseburgers and fruit? He's a dog. Dogs eat dog food. Why are people such cunts?"

    "I'd look thinner too if I hid my ass inside the doorway for the 'after' shot."

    "Dogs, like cats, are not strict carnivores. They will eat vegetation in the wild, which is probably where the modern fad of adding a tonne of vegetables into dog food to lower the production cost comes from."

    "Is potato cheaper than horse bollocks then? Surely only marginally."

    This is just about my favourite EtH comments thread ever.

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