* I have since Googled "news-rage journalist", and can confirm there were 0 results. Excellent.
Young people these days...: For those of you who, like me, have 'lost' all their grandparents, and thus all their contact with the very old and grumpy, today's Opinion page holds something of a nostalgic surprise. Dovetailing nicely with their 'slow news day' theme, the Herald have published a consummate old-man rant about how people dress too sloppily these days. He starts off with a reminiscence about a man on his bus back in nineteen-dickety-one. This man wore a three piece suit, polished shoes, pocket watch etc. to his workplace, a construction site where he changed into overalls and began 'chipping concrete off boxing', whatever that means. Now, while most of us today would (rightly) consider this a sign of mild mental illness, this display impressed the young Noel Gillespie to the point where he decided to be obsessed with dress codes for the rest of his life. To cut a long, long story short, here are some things that really 'get [Noel's] goat':
- Women wearing pants
- Men drinking beer out of a bottle (although this is 'maybe acceptable' at a barbecue)
- Presumably women drinking beer at all
- 'Middle aged women wearing jeans'
- Wearing a sports jacket to the New Zealand Sports Awards
- Just about everything I wear on a daily basis: 'flop flops [sic], unshaven designer [sic] stubble... jeans ... yada yada'. No mention of singlets, but I imagine that's only because the very thought of them would make him break down in tears before he could so much as dial Leighton Smith.
Dear Editor: Hey, what the hell? When did the letters to the editor merge with Sideswipe?? Oh wait, they didn't (yet). All that happened was the letters page started printing people's random complaints about their day. I'm very sorry, R.K. Jones of Takanini, that you had bad service at the supermarket. And I truly felt for you, Pam Dodd of Mt Eden, when you had that nasty run in with a rude motorist the other day. But I have a recommendation for you both. Instead of clogging the Herald letters page - my Herald letters page - up with your stories of woe, how about you write in to That's Life magazine. Not only do I then not have to read them, but you can make up to $600 for each submission! Now that's life!
I heart Obama: My post yesterday notwithstanding, am I the only one getting super-excited about Obama? My heart filling with Western-nation pride? My brain swarming with radical possibilities? My loins stirring with the vaguest of man-crushes? I am even considering staying up all night to watch the ceremonial bollocks (metaphorical). Presumably this is exactly the intended effect of the inauguration/coronation process - seems like I may not be above bread-and-circuses politics after all. Also, if anyone spots an outrageous flame-headed ginger in the crowd, it's probably my cousin.
Headline of the month contest: 'Smelly man hunted after tourist attack'. As if the guy didn't have enough problems...