Tuesday, November 24, 2009

They must be taking the piss

After that weekend, I'm taking a break from thinking about the Herald for a couple of days. Feel free to email me anything truly astoundingly bad, and I'll write something up from my wireless-broadband-capable Fijian beach hut.


  1. Scary orcas! The most important news in New Zealand right now!

  2. And why not... They exhibit a black/white colour scheme and, as a trip to seaworld will confirm, have excellent ball-handling skills. Based on these critera alone they deserve to be at the forefront of our nation's colletctive attention.

  3. Meh, whales, shmales. I'm all about the deep sea cucumber on page A9.

  4. But why did the editors use the term Orca, when KILLER WHALE makes for a much better scary headline?

  5. "That photo of the man standing in front of a whale looks photoshopped to me."

  6. David Attenborough told me Orcas are friendly.

  7. Please browse the newspaper Christchurch Harbour Chronicle and two other titles within the same square mile, see www.msbnews.co.uk a beach hut centred website It acts as host for the archive for the CHC and the Mudeford Sandbank News and the Hengistbury Head Times. It is all updated these days at http:// web.mac.com/beachhutman.
    The link with NZ is tenuous, but there is something there by a writer from the North Island...a cousin.

  8. Todays main headline

    "Carpark scam hits thousands"

    That's a fact! or is it...

    "Westpac Bank, which is investigating the fraud, last night declined to reveal the scale of the problem, but the Herald understands that possibly tens of thousands of credit cards have been compromised and need to be replaced."

    Mmm, speculation. What other facts can you offer?

    "It is unclear whether the thieves attached a skimming device to the payment machines or accessed the devices' credit-card database internally"

    "Mr Dowling said that while the investigation was continuing, the bank would not provide any further details. Mastercard and Visa declined to comment."

    I feel so well informed!


  9. I like this article about "An invasion of marauding bronze whaler sharks is threatening the existence of one of the best areas in New Zealand for catching kingfish."

    It's about how Nature is attacking our culture.


  10. Ok so what do we reckon it'll be next?

    Shark - tick
    Whale - tick
    Jellyfish - tick
    Hippo/croccodile - tick
    Orca - tick

    I think dolphins have so far been underrepresented, particularly when compared to their mammalian brethren amongst the whales.

  11. the next will be land based.

  12. Actually Orcas technically ARE dolphins...

    ... Sorry, there was no need for that. Just something I picked up from the old Wikipedia. It also said that Orca have been known to attack and eat DEER and MOOSE swimming between the islands in BC. Now THAT photo would be Herald front page material for sure.

    But talking about the traditional porpoise, I think they are missing that one factor that all the others share - potential deadliness to humans. Luckily for them the ocean is a veritable gold-mine of lethal sea creatures, so this series could go on for a while.

    Episode 10... The deadly sea-slug!

  13. Mr Coe, I think you would be doing your readership, and indeed the Herald's readership, a great service were you to commission an online poll, say in your sidebar, for voting on which animal should be the subject next gratuitous non-newsworthy front page hogging pic in Dear Ol' Granny Herald.

  14. the caption to the lastest could have been 'a fat bloke and a killer whale similar to one which made him feel a bit scared.

  15. Gerbils. Definitely gerbils.

  16. Stingray. Remember Steve Irwin.

  17. "It also said that Orca have been known to attack and eat DEER and MOOSE swimming between the islands in BC."

    What about polar bears? OMG Orca vs Polar Beer. It's like that movie - Killer Squid vs Giant Shark...except...Orca vs Polar Bear sounds like one of those Nature Death Match docos Discovery ran a while back...