Friday, July 9, 2010

SNAKE NEWZ

It's Friday, and Garth still hasn't appeared. Dead, or just in hibernation? Answers on the back of a pie wrapper.

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Meanwhile, at stately Herald Manor...
Editor: ...Right, next story. What's this one about?

Journalist: Well, it's about pests getting through customs. Apparently snakes aren't the problem at all, but-

(Editor turns and looks out window. Fingertips touch, C. Montgomery Burns-style.)

Editor: Snakes, you say....

10 comments:

  1. They must be very proud of that curved word-wrap around Mr Snake's head and tail.

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  2. I'm kinda surprised there's no reference to Samuel L Jackson in this story

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  3. It's called juxtaposition:

    1. "Garth still hasn't appeared. Dead, or just in hibernation?"

    2. Then a piece about snakes - which as anyone who has lived in Australia will know - are hibernating at this time of year.

    Just saying...

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  4. Garth George in 'Andy Haden defence' un-shocker.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=10658794

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  5. Classic Garth.

    "Mr Haden should have been red-carded for his first outburst when he alleged that the Crusaders rugby team had a three-man ration on what he called 'darkies' (...)one wonders at his use of a peculiarly American racial epithet when there are several homegrown ones available."

    In other words: Andy Haden was wrong to claim that the Crusaders had a limit on the number of darkies selected.

    It would have been better if he had claimed that the Crusaders had a limit on the number of hories selected.

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  6. (Noting, in fairness, that Garth did say the substantive thrust of Haden's comments were factually incorrect.)

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  7. (Counter-noting that Garth then goes on to rant about Maori sauntering over zebra crossings as if to say "Ha ha whitey, you have to wait for me".)

    Wait, remind me who's the outdated unreconstructed redneck anachronism who needs to step down from his public role? I forgot.

    I wonder what hilarious personal dramas are behind Garth's aside about 'snooty staff at tourist attractions', presumably in Rotorua...

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  8. I guess (I mean, I hope) it's a generational thing.

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  9. It's been a while now... has James also retired to Rotorua or something?

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