Wednesday, December 16, 2009

"Well done separatists, you've got your way!"

If you're anything like me, you saw the front page story on the decision to fly the Maori flag (look, no ironic quote marks!), thought "That's good," turned the page, and became engrossed in news of Tiger Woods' latest mistress.

People on Your Views, however, are nothing like you and me.

"Should the Tino Rangatiratanga flag be used on Waitangi Day?"


For balance you would probably need the New Zealand First flag up there too.

He died in World War One and Two? That's commitment. Now, to find the part in the story where it said anything about changing the flag...

You mean you didn't see the notices about the hui up in the marae? Surely you heard the kaumatua talking about it? Oh.

And yes - as a pakeha I feel very offended that I didn't get a choice regarding a Maori flag. But I'm used to it; so far no other nations whatsoever have so much as asked me what I thought of their new flags.

Apartheid was truly terrible. The way that white South Africans made the government display their own flag next to the national flag in public places on one day of the year truly makes the blood boil.

Who needs racism by stealth when you can just blurt it out in a public forum?

Ian of Kerikeri writes:

Dear Ian,

I've considered your proposition, and have come up with the following solution.

Kind regards,
The Head Maori


I agree with you, pCb - NOT!

"I'm sick to death of hearing all this racism towards Maori. I want to hear some racism aimed at the Chinese!"

68 comments:

  1. Also, if we put the flag on the bridge, it might draw all those Maaaaaris into the city! :o

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  2. I want to say 'favourite' but that's not the right word. Ummm it's not my favourite Your Views rant - but it definitely stuck out for me:

    Billy (Singapore)
    03:11PM Tuesday, 15 Dec 2009
    A sad sad day for NZ. This will be the biggest mistake since apologising! Once 2 flags are officially acknowledged there is no going back until one is the dominant.
    Remember most of the NZ army are Maori!

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  3. I'm almost certain Garth will be writing about this tomorrow. PC gone mad? I bet Garth is madder...

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  4. Surely Hue Robes use of the word 'Racialist' marks his/her contribution out as satire.

    Or maybe not.

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  5. Sigh. The Basque provinces in Spain use a flag that was designed by an ultra-nationalist who compared the Spanish people to apes, and worse and which has been used by the freedom-fighter/terrorist group (take your pick) ETA for decades. Its very existence represents insults and mass murder of Spaniards, but it's an official flag and flies *everywhere*.

    We have a bunch of half-baked wannabe dialysis-machine terrorists who have the gall to suggest that whitey might not have played 100% fair, and people get all worked up about a flag flying from a *bridge* (not the Beehive, or even a town hall)?? Madness.

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  6. I was about to make a comment on the use of the word Racialist, but I see noizy has beaten me to it. That is talkback radio in print at its finest.

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  7. Your post Mr Coe, it is full of Win. The bits you wrote of course, not those other losers.

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  8. It's quite a nice-looking flag, too.

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  9. Monk De Wally De HonkDecember 18, 2009 at 12:22 AM

    hello. this really is nothing compared to THIS:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/dec/16/bbc-africa-have-your-say

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  10. "And yes - as a pakeha I feel very offended that I didn't get a choice regarding a Maori flag. But I'm used to it; so far no other nations whatsoever have so much as asked me what I thought of their new flags."

    Yes, I get that you're being sarcastic, but I wonder why you use 'other nations'? It's not like there's a maori nation and a pakeha nation here.

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  11. wow - anonymous above me just posted a "real" comment. The test, Coe, is how you respond!

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  12. Aparthied, gangs, world wars, 'racialists', revolution...all of this supposedly from a Maori flag. I have a feeling YV's commenters don't belong in this reality. Though I shudder to think of the reality they have managed to crawl out from...presumably one where Garth is king and crocodile-men infest the sewers?

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  13. What disturbs me just as much as the racist spew on YV is that it's a moderated forum.

    That's right, YV check each comment before posting them.

    Keep showing your true (one) colour Herald....white. Or is that (cowardly) yellow?

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  14. and whose right is it to edit out all the right-wing veiws? would you prefer it was just a bunch of people saying how fabulous it was that finally the oppressed were vindicated?

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  15. http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10616660&pnum=0

    Most confusing article ever. Try keep up with the dates.

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  16. re: editing out right-wing views. There's a world of difference between 'right-wing' views and hate speech - although the line seems more often than not to be blurred on YV's. Also, a bit of editorial recognition of when someone is off in woo woo territory frothing at the mouth proclaiming the end is nigh, and subsequently excluding said hateful ignoramous from publication, would not go amiss on the Herald's part. I don't think facist biggots should be encouraged/published in the name of 'free speech'.

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  17. Or, translated, 'If I don't agree with it, it is unworthy of publication'.

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  18. No, if it's hateful or simply untrue drivel, it is unworthy of publication. Or, by the same tact, do you think it ok to walk around calling everyone 'f#ckface', simply because that's your right? There are (or should be) standards for publication regardless of differing views.

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  19. Just because someone is racist, it does not make them guilty of a hate crime. I will freely admit that, by certain definitions, I am a racist in that I believe that race accounts for differences in human character or ability. Unfortunately, idiot douchebags all around the world, much like the YV commentators, have ruined the term racist for all of us. They spout off their retarded ideas that take my nice, clean, defensible version of racism and make is something much more dark and offensive. That is what (I think) we all congregate here to mock, and at times, be offended by: not the fact that these people hold racist and/or right wing views, but that they choose to present these views in mind boggling ways AND that the Herald doesn't censor these comments on the website.

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  20. censoring is a very subjective activity. the censor is guided by his or her own prejudices and beliefs. The internet presents a level playing field for all sorts of weirdos to express their stupid beliefs. i'm sorry but it is not the herald's job to be their moral watchdog.

    let's be honest here - if the idiots who write in had any real power or influence in the real world there'd be nazis in government euthanising people in wheelchairs. but there aren't.

    let them talk shite, and let us laugh. there's no real harm in that.

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  21. JP, well, I suppose i've not much to say if you honestly think race inherently accounts for individual behaviour or ability (perhaps you are meaning society / culture?). The evidence post-1860 would beg otherwise but i'll leave you to your own views.
    Note, however, I said hate speech, not hate crime. As for 'defensible racism', I won't even go there. Racism is irrational and undefendable. As for what other's come on here for, who knows, but I agree with you that it is indeed mind boggling that the herald doesn't censor retarded comments.
    The feeling I got from the Anon's reply to my comment was (other than making a personal attack) that there should be no standard whatsoever within publications. Or that standards should be automatically sacrificed in the name of free speech. I just find that a bit strange.
    Anyway, I won't argue the point as I have a feeling this will snowball into a freedom of speech or political censorship debacle rather than recognising it for what it is: retards on Your Views hemorrhaging words.
    Merry xmas all.

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  22. Does use of the word 'retard' count as hate speech against the intellectually disabled?

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  23. no, but what you refer to does count as a speech by a member of the intellectually disabled.

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  24. touche Rusty :) As for the anons, charming. attacking other commenters why now? Didn't realise wondering why the Herald publishes the comments on YV's was a crime. Anyway, have a good holiday you angry little anons.

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  25. who's angry? what attacks? maybe you should read the comments rather than go into auto-pilot about their perceived content.

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  26. Edward, I thought I was agreeing with you, albeit in my own special way. I know your feelings on race (we're all the same), and you know mine (were not, as suggested by the uniform african-ness of the 8 starters from the 2008 olympics 100m dash final), so there is little point delving much deeper into that. And I dont have a problem with you expressing your feelings on the matter becuase you do so in a well thought out and uninsulting manner. I may not agree with you, but I dont feel stupider for having read what you had to write. But every time I delve into the YV comments, or stumble across an episode of 'keeping up with the kardashians', or see something about Tiger Woods' infidelities reported as real news, I feel a little dumber. This is what really offends me, and should be what offends all the followers of this blog.

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  27. Anon, actually i'm not sure who. It gets confusing with all of the anonymous comments - don't know who said what. But its irrelevant now anyway, all's good.

    JP, yeah I know you were in your own way (sorry if I sounded like I didn't acknowledge that), and I agree with ya. I know you and I also have different views on race and culture but that you're a fairly affable guy hence why I didn't want to go into it with ya. People have different views and last time we had diologue we agreed to disagree which is all good. Likewise i've no problem with you expressing your views. Haha yeah I fully know what you mean about the YV comments, and agree with you. That's all I was trying to say really, that it's more me wondering why someone would publish the equivallent of a monkey throwing excrement instead of critical thought. The agressive anon/s (?) apparently thought of that as me calling for some sort of political sensorship. I don't understand why they got so passive agressive over YV's? The internet is full of overreactive rude people but what do I expect.
    Anyway, have a good one JP.

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  28. Has the blog died?

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  29. My guess is that James is on holiday somewhere lying in a puddle of his own beer flavoured wee :-)

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  30. Come on, I'm sure I saw a picture of an Orca on yesterday's front page. Where is James?

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  31. "Come on, I'm sure I saw a picture of an Orca on yesterday's front page. Where is James?"

    Well-deserved break, IMO.

    At least he points this sort of thing out when it happens in ordinary news time (you know, when you might hope that topics of import will get appropriate coverage). In summer it's like shooting porpoises in a barrel.

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  32. Yes, roll on Winter, I say.

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  33. Lets all chip in and get James a Blackberry so that he is never away from an internet comnnection and we dont have to put up with boring lunch times ever again.

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  34. Yes! And include one of those helpful little keyring-like swingtags (in yesterday's Business Herald) that beeps whenever you go a set distance from your smartphone, so that he'll never be able to escape from his blogging duties, ever again.

    Well done anon. It's not easy, thinking up thoughtful presents to delight the receiver.

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  35. "Diss Generation Z? Epic fail, you rental"

    Go to the herald website and look this article up immediately.. it is so, so awesome.

    The first paragraph:

    With the new decade poised to become known as the "teenies", adults are warned that if they "diss" teen speak, they risk an "epic fail".

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  36. Gods. I think they've let their interns loose.

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  37. Diss has been around for fucking donkey's years.

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  38. The survey referenced was of Habbo users, who are on average 11 years old and probably have no idea that "diss" existed long before they did.

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  39. Ooh, I missed this.

    From the Your Views rules (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/site-information-help/news/article.cfm?c_id=500827&objectid=10423788):

    "Do not waste your time using the forums to try to spread gossip, breach court orders or make allegations about people."

    And thus, the Your Views topic for January 3 (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/your-views/news/headlines.cfm?c_id=1501154):

    "The Sounds murders - did Scott Watson do it?

    Internet chat rooms are buzzing with theories about who might have really killed Ben Smart and Olivia Hope in the infamous 'Sounds murder case', which occured on New Year's Eve twelve years ago.

    Supporters of convicted Sounds murderer Scott Watson say they have information linking an entirely different man to the disappearances of the young pair.

    What are your thoughts on the case?"

    Roffles.

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  40. I heard James died, apparently he got so angry at some idiot that he had a heart attack. At least he died doing what he loved best.

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  41. I just hope he was at a foam rave at the time.

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  42. I can confirm that James was, indeed, at a foam rave when he passed away. Singing Sash's "Equador" at the top of his lungs, arms in the air (he just didn't care) and mouth agape, James lost all control of his bladder and inhaled an unfathomable amount of foam... simultaneously.

    The shock to his system was simply too great and he collapsed on his back, his legs still twicthing to the funky Sash beats, his delicate face, still pink with pleasure, framed by his Clayton Weatherston hairstyle.

    Rest in foam rave heavenly peace, young Coe.

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  43. Were his arms in the air because he just didn't care, or was he putting his hands up for Detroit? I feel like I need to know this.

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  44. this blog is dead. find something else to do.

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  45. "this blog is dead. find something else to do."

    If we get more comments as funny as Spockulus' above I'll be quite happy to hang around this blog's carcass for a while.

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  46. I vote that contributors offer suggestionsas to where they think James may be, what he's up to and why, WHY he has abandoned his baby.

    JP Rocks - Good question. James is an old-school unionist socialist so Detroit, in its state of decay, is an hommage to his entire belief system. Though I'm not sure such socio-economic thoughts were racing through his party-pill popped brain as he slipped and slid across the foam-covered dance floor. I guess we'll never know.

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  47. OK, another try...

    He's all around us.

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  48. Perhaps he's given it all up to become a marine biologist after overexposure to Peak Orca coverage in the Herald? (I see those goddamned oversize dolphins got the front page *again* yesterday...)

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  49. Double post - today, Garth parties on in royal style:

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=10621297&pnum=0

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  50. I think he must have had an epiphany and realised the herald was in fact a brilliant piece of satire; his lifes goal ruined he decided to end it all.
    That or Garth sent his underworld cohort, 'the piemaker' to 'deal with' the irritating blogger.

    In all seriousness, where is the fellow? this is ridiculous.
    (although in light of some of the comments, it seems this blog is not entirely dead, it lives on in this increasingly of topic comment section)

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  51. Just when my respect for the Herald couldn't sink any lower, they pull this shit. Fuck the NZ Herald. FUCK EM!

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  52. God save the Queen

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  53. Despite Spockulus' fascinating posts above, Facebook suggests that young James survived at least as far as BDO last week, perhaps expiring in a transcedental haze of recycled sweat and thumping beats in the Boiler Room.

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  54. Just when my respect for the Herald couldn't sink any lower, they pull this shit. Fuck the NZ Herald. FUCK EM!

    Anything in particular?

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  55. I heard he is now working for the Herald.

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  56. "Job offers from major New Zealand newspapers welcome."

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  57. Looks like James isn't going to return to blogging here anytime soon. I guess it's now the responsibility of others who read the Herald to rage about it on their own time.

    Sic transit gloria bloggi.

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  58. "Anything in particular?"

    Yeah, publishing the SAS photo. Basically a stunt to get attention. Very lame.

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  59. I think James (if he really doesn't want to do this anymore) should give a select few his blogspot details so that others can update this blog. I've seen some humdingers recently, a favourite being a heart rending tale about a towie who died of a heart attack. That's the whole story.

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  60. So is Sideswipe just a forum for people to whinge now? It used to be an entertaining mindless diversion, but now I read about some guy paying 6 cents on EFTPOS at Foodtown.

    A) When stuff like that happens to me, it does not occur to me that I need to tell the newspaper about it.

    B) Do they really have nothing better to print?

    C) "Times have changed"? Oops, you're age is showing.

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  61. You now have to click twice to get to the Your Views page too, wonder if that will affect comment numbers?

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  62. Mainstream media is dead: James's blog

    James's blog is dead: mainstream media.

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  63. I heard that the foam party was caused by James angry rave. awesome. you were as shit in death as in life, Coe. stop being lazy. its not like you have a 'real' job!

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  64. Two theories:
    1. Some time ago James mentioned he's working at the university - so perhaps we can't expect any more blogs until in returns to work. March, isn't it?
    2. James logs on every day and is having a great laugh at our ongoing desperation.

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  65. The first does sound likely, I know semester 1 at AU starts 1st March. Hope he's back then.

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