Thursday, December 3, 2009

Stranger in a strange land

I don't really want to write about Tiger Woods, and I hope that you don't really want to read about him. But in the context of what I wrote the other day about what happens when sportspeople do everyday things - blow their nose, open a bank account, cheat on their wife - I thought I would point out for your perusal today's article on Woods by the Herald's Chris Rattue. It's fascinating to skim-read, in that it's a piece of sportswriting - full of clichés, tortuous extended metaphor and matey nudge-nudge-wink-winks, that is - but about something that is important, at least to two of the people involved.
It was difficult to know exactly how Woods would react in the immediate aftermath of his mis-drive, but certainly no surprise that he retreated behind the walls while throwing a dart over the top containing his vague statement.


  1. I always thought Woods were good for driving - though I guess if you're playing a round and in a hurry to get to the next hole, you might end up in the trees.

    Steve Williams is looking for a new job after seeing what Tiger did to his other Caddie..

  2. I heard Gillette cancelled their endorsement deal with Tiger after he said the car crash was "the closest shave I've ever had".

  3. And the difference between a golf ball and an SUV? Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

    What have tigers and seal cubs got in common? They both get clubbed by Scandinavians.

    Where did I leave my coat?

  4. The Taiwanese news CGI reenactment is awesome, and shits all over Mike McRoberts' touch screen.

  5. "Woods, an American dream, ran over symbols of their fabled picture perfect, caring communities - namely a fir hydrant and a neighbour's tree."

    Ah yes, those well known symbols of community togetherness - fire hydrants.


  6. I've read that four times and I still don't understand it.

  7. "full of clichés, tortuous extended metaphor and matey nudge-nudge-wink-winks"

    Yeah, that's Rattue's normal style [sorry to link-whore James]. CR's articles are a gold-mine of ammunition for piss-takery.